Finding Parenting Confidence in Losing Control

I am starting with a disclaimer!! I hope this post is not offensive. Please realize that I write about my own journey, not to judge yours or where you are... if anything, my motivation is to give others reason to reflect and consider what being a mama has given to you.

Well here it is. It only took me two months to get this post together, but here are the moments, through becoming a parent of two, that have lead me back to myself.

Those of us with *ahem* challenging first children, took a little longer, perhaps, to warm up to the idea of having more than one babe. For me, that was about 21 months. At about 12 months, I entertained the thought. My eldest then hit what we fondly refer to as the 'horror stage' (it's existence confirmed by many equally shell-shocked parent friends) of approximately 15-20.5 months.

I recall it well.  Characterized as, You understand me, but I can't understand You. You want to do what I do, but will NOT do as I say. You will SCREAM IRRATIONALLY about almost anything: Your shoe fell off, your ice cream melted, your shirt got too small and you loved it soooo frigging much. You get the idea.

Funny thing about time. That little developmental nightmare concludes, and 2 days later:  I feel like having more babies! It's like that 6 months of torturous child raising didn't even happen. Once you've kept a shrieking, insomniac, ADHD, mentally unstable, violent little being alive (disclaimor: my child actually has NONE of the above labels, but I have Googled each  of them at some point to see if he may have fit the criteria), your mental state becomes altered enough to think you'll be just fine to do it all again.

So... my husband and I start to ponder life with two children. How hard can it be? Two kids? There are two of us. I can handle one child on my own, surely two people can handle two children. Twice as hard, We can do it! Ha ha ha....

As other bloggers have ranted, it's not twice as hard. It's a different world. Something along the lines of, 6, 7, 8 times as hard! And here's the hilarious little sidebar: My second babe was a dreamy little dude. Laid back, happy, content. Our life still went sideways. I know I know.. I'm preaching to the choir.

Remember with one baby how you used to have a shower? I regularly sport a greasy look.
Remember with one baby, how you remembered to check and make sure your pants were on? I wore my slippers to town. Twice.
Remember with one baby, how you used to still have lunch dates with mommy friends, and grocery shop for a fun outing?
Lunch dates do not exist.  If my family decides to eat out, it's usually to appease others who still figure eating out is "fun". It's actually more of  a food throwdown- a race against the clock and a mommy show of entertainment to try and keep everyone seated and the food within a 5 ft radius of the table.

Anyway, HARD! Where does that difference lie, anyway?

With that first golden child, you are so busy getting to know life as a parent, you don't really care about where YOU as an individual fit into the mix.  New roles, transitions, it's all good!  It's pretty thrilling! You still visit with your friends. You clean your house during naps. You still do your fitness regime. You go on coffee dates and shop (for yoga pants, but still). You hold together some loose sense of organization and maybe even some sense of self.

Suddenly... two children, Um, hello life, where have you gone?  It took me approximately 6 months to fully realize I had ditched pretty much every aspect of myself that used to define me. Some of those aspects I ditched gladly, others left me feeling exposed, lonely and like a super boring, yoga pant wearing slobby momma.

One child did not give me confidence. It gave me fear. Don't get me wrong: It showed me amazing love, taught me lessons. Mother hood also brought self doubt, constant comparison and moments that felt like pure failure. Despite these feelings, it's still relatively easy to maintain a nice, tidy outward orderly life appearance.

Exhibit A: There was a time when I would fear going to a busy park, only to be filled with horror if my two year old decided to take exception to some little princess on the slide and shove her off. Anxiety attack! Can't handle! Mom fail! Never returning to that park! Humiliated! Mom must have no control! (Inspired of course by a true story or two). All of those above attributes would rise to the surface, and I would scour in my mind how to do it differently, do it better, not let it every happen again. You're smirking, aren't you.

Enter two children. All of a sudden, you can't hide home, because your two kids will drive you NUTS if you do. You are forced to handle a royal showdown in Wal-Mart with the hawk-eyed disapproving moms (who always, by the way, show up during show-downs) tracking you down as you restrain your toddler and attempt to obtain goods to feed your family.

In those moments, you are forced to let go of the way others perceive you, critique your parenting, your anything really. You simply do what needs to be done. All of a sudden you just are, who you need to be,  Because you have to be. What a concept, huh? Talk about being pushed in the deep end to figure out how to really swim.

Lets face it folks, we only truly let go, when there is no possible way that we can remain in control. For me, that moment hit almost the day my second son was born. I'm not saying it was for you.. but I learned pretty damn fast this way. Guess what? Not always being in control is not really a bad thing. It gives your kids freedom. It lets them explore, find self confidence, and lets you enjoy watching them do that. Once you free yourself from the judgement of others, your parenting gains the confidence of 10 men moms. No one needs to do it my way, but I sure no longer feel the need to do it their way either.

I realize, when I spend time with my friends who have three children, more children, special needs children, extra challenging children, that I'll never be all the way there. They do amazing things I still have trouble coming to grips with- leaving their kids in cars to run an errand, turning their BACK to have a conversation, letting their littles retrieve dogs from burning buildings. No, I don't judge them. I know these behaviours come with more experience, less hands, less time, less fear about what the world thinks, and more knowledge about what their kids need.

Funny enough, these habits that bring judgement from others are freeing for the parent who experiences them. What a concept. Maybe what bothers those judgmental folk, is that parent doesn't even seem to be phased! Again, liberating!

This blog for me, marks the discovery of this self as I begin to build my life back up. It's pretty exciting, really. It all sounds so shocking, slightly forced, and at times scary, but the power that comes from trusting yourself as a parent that knows best for her kids is an amazing, empowering piece of myself that I am proud to wear daily.

Best Pumpkin Banana Muffins

I had a pumpkin that I cooked up last week that needed to be used up, as well as a massive pile of brown frozen bananas. Enter, DIY recipe for Pumpkin Banana Muffins!

Yep! I've realized that there isn't much to creating your own recipe. This one was a huge hit in my house!

Pumpkin Banana Muffins (with Coconut and Oatmeal)

1 Cup Oats
1 Cup Spelt flour (or regular flour, or oat flower)
2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 ripe bananas, mashed
1 cup mashed cooked pumpkin
3 tbsp melted coconut oil
1 egg
1/4 cup honey
1/4 Cup Coconut palm sugar (or brown sugar)

Optional:
1/2 cup coconut
1/2 cup walnuts or pecans
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Blend together wet ingredients; blend dry. Add Dry to wet, then add option ingredients as desired.

Bake as a loaf at 350 degrees for approx 45 minutes
Or, as muffins for approx 20-25 minuts.

Note: These are a fairly dense (and moist) texture due to the pumkin, but super yummy!

Running: How to be Faster Than Yourself. A Little About Cadence

First off, let me say again, why I love running:

Yup. So... I have talked lots about healthy eating, and I totally believe in it. I believe in REAL food... and when I talk about treats, this is where it's at! Home made muffins, topped with home made smoked salmon, eggs from our friends chickens, hollandaise from scratch, and parsley and tomatoes from the garden. OMG. Hello Sunday long run, you were SO worth it!

I digress. My lunch was just too awesome not to talk about!

Running has something in it for everyone! The ultimate competitive/non-competitive sport where you can do your best to pretend you don't care what everyone else is doing, and yet race them at the same time. Every finish line is an accomplishment where you have managed to overcome yourself, and meet your goals- whether they be distance, speed, or just getting out the door.

I love running, for all that goes on in my mind. The thoughts about my family,  the clarity I need to face day to day problems, and the high I get after the first couple of miles (which leaves me to this imaginary scenario I often visualize where when I hop off the sidewalk, do a roundhouse kick like Jackie Chan, and people crash their cars because I look soo cool). I thank runner's high for leaving me with this distorted amazing self image!  In real life, I kind of trudge when I run and I am pretty sure that at times, I people wonder if it's actually a speed walk, but at least I am out there! You can read my previous blog post about Runner's High and why I think it's pretty special stuff.

Ok already: To the point! With running, there is always this part about speed. It's nice to think we don't care about how fast we are, but I think a good number of us are always looking to speed up. Not as fast as others, just faster than ourselves. Again, I love running because the competition can be against myself; no one has to know if I didn't succeed.

How DO we get faster? It's hard!! Small changes don't always add up they way that you hope they will. I wear my Garmin,  stalking my average pace all_the_time, and it's not always enough to light the fire under my butt I desire to quicken my stride just a little.

Currently training for a half marathon brings in all sorts of practical solutions you will hear in most running programs:

Tempo running  (check out the link for how it helps)

My personal favourite: Rocking with the Running Cadence!  (check out the link for what the heck it is)

Quick version (because I can read your mind, and you likely don't feel like clicking on the link): Cadence, is how many steps per minute you take while running. The neat thing about cadence, is we all have a similar optimal cadence, (if you believe the research), of 180 steps per minute. Crazy huh? It doesn't mean we'll all go the same pace, as your stride will be a different length than mine, but our feet will be pounding in unison. And pretty quickly too! Takes some getting used to.

I actually LOVE running this way. It's purpose helps achieve optimal stride length and ultimately get a little faster. Amazing stuff really. It's pretty cool to feel your feet going so quickly beneath you. Makes me feel light!

There is also some hidden motivation in Cadence running: MUSIC!

If you know me personally, and know me well, you probably just rolled your eyes because most of the music I listen to is NOT on your playlist. I am a bit of a music nut. Inside my mom-ly, plain, pretty even keel exterior lives a bit of a rock and roll (ok, heavy rock and roll) loving 80's girl.  Ask my husband... here is a picture of the last concert we attended together! My cadence playlist is loaded with Metallica, Clutch, and others that fall under the same heading.

Regardless, Cadence does not require you to like any particular genre of music, it just means you might build a kick ass playlist that will help you to stick to a running pace and shorten/lengthen your stride to improve your running technique and maybe even your time.

I encourage you to try it and tell me what you think! How you feel! Try a short run this way and see what happens.

Here is a fancy little article that tells you how it works, and why 180 bpm may be the magic number.

I run at 180 bmp (or a 90bpm if you count just one foot) and LOVE some of my music. Here are a few places you can find music sorted by BPM. There are many more to be had by doing an internet search. If you want, I will even personally go to the effort of typing up my playlist if someone wants to be lazy!
Look here to get started:

Rock my Run
JogTunes

It does take some time. I feel bodily differences in my knees and back, and (*gasp*).. I'm reaching for a goal time that I haven't seen in a half marathon since I was 23. At this point I am not sure I'll get there... but I'm going to be close, and it's exciting!
Maybe it will also have you doing kung fu as you cruise down the sidewalk! If nothing else, it gives you some good entertainment on your run and something else to focus on for a while. No harm in giving it a shot.
If you are thinking about taking up running, or kicking it up a notch, let me give you a little piece of friendly motivation:

Healthy Snacks We All Like (and can't screw up!) Also gluten free!

Leslie from  Leslie's FunFit posted a recipe a while ago for Cosmic cookies.  They looked pretty yummy and I loved the ingredients so I thought we'd give them a go, and share the recipe!

Click here for COSMIC COOKIE Recipe- The recipe for the version I made is located below. 

One thing I am super guilty of as a parent is letting my oldest 'help' with baking. I mean, guilty of that extra controlled help where I pour the ingredients and then hand over hand help him do everything else. As mom (and fear of yet more mess to clean up) I do this to satisfy both the requirement that my boy is having good, authentic experiences, but also to fulfill my requirement that I am saving time and killing two birds with one stone- getting some baking done and entertaining the little all at once.

Well. This time, we did it HIS way. Note the mess. I can't say I'll do this every time, but he sure was satisfied to spoon the cookies onto the sheet himself and measure out the ingredients! It did take me an extra 20 minutes to clean the kitchen, and an hour to make the cookies. Sorry little E for trapping you in your highchair for so long and feeding you soooo many cheerios. Sorry dad, won't be telling you which ones K's little fingies mutilated manipulated. Take your chances!

These cookies seem very substitution friendly. I also like that there are no eggs from the helping kid factor- I didn't have to worry about a pinch of dough or 10 (again dad, won't be telling you...) went in his mouth! Very moist and held together well.

Here was my version. My substitutions were mostly just because of ingredients I didn't have on hand. I was impressed that I didn't screw them up by taking some things out and adding others, so here it is: 

2 cups oats

2 cups Spelt Flour

1 cup Chocolate chunks/chips

3/4 cup dried cranberries

1/3 cup chia seeds

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

2tsp sea salt

1 Cup unrefined coconut sugar (or brown sugar)

1 cup almond milk (or other unsweetened milk)

3/4 cup melted Coconut oil

1/3 C honey 

Mix dry, add wet.
Baked at 350 degrees F for 12-15 mins. They came out moist and chewy, and held together just fine!
I did warm up the almond milk just to room temperature to keep the coconut oil from solidifying.

I'd love to hear about other healthy ingredients that you add to these, or other delicious natural ingredient treats!

The Ten Terrible Ingredients I Can't Get Rid Of

Small steps are really important in BIG changes. That said, some small steps are harder than others.

Cooking my dinner tonight, I'm REALLY having trouble wrapping my head around meal planning! Not sure why.. I naturally love this sort of thing. Perhaps it's because I do not yet have all of my well loved recipes in one place: Some in cookbooks, Pinterest, and various go-to websites.

So, as I cook my fly by the seat of my pants (uh, shouldn't be doing that on a Monday) dinner.. I think... not too bad. We're having salmon caught by our neighbors, and healthy fried rice. MOSTLY healthy. Nice organic veggies, a few from the garden, eggs from our friends' chickens, good healthy oils.. and...wait for it... soy sauce. Yep... good old SOY.

Sigh. It's one of those things that we just CAN'T seem to get rid of in this house!

It of course made me think of think of a few things we just can't seem to kick out of the pantry. Mostly because there is no quick and easy answer to getting rid of them.

Drum Roll.............Also making that dirty list:

Chocolate chips. Thank you, Costco, for making them in 1kg bags. (Oh my. I just looked at the bag).  2.4kg!?!  bags. Because we all know that any good stay at home mom can make short work of a Costco bag of chips WITHOUT even actually baking with them. Common.. I know I'm not alone here. Notice how empty my bag is. It's not very old. 

My husband just raises his eyebrows.

Brown sugar. I have alternate sources of sweet which I bake with alllll the time. But when I make a fresh fruit crumble, I can't help but use heaps of brown sugar to make the top all rich and delicious!

White. Flour. Do you make cookies with whole wheat flour? I can do no flour, but... chocolate chip cookies, I do not want to disgrace your deliciousness with... health. Bad!

Ketchup. You're supposed to make your own. I don't.

Tomato sauce. I got my act together enough to make jam, dried fruit, applesauce, and bread. Next year tomatoes, you're it!

Tortillas. Ever notice that they don't go bad, ever?? The corn ones do... they keep ending up in the garbage. So here I am, with everlasting delicious fake food. We ate them last night.

Cringe. I'm not even going to talk about this. Actually yes I will. It's my bribe food for my son. When I don't want to do battle on the four food groups, I ask him if he wants "box noodles". He always says yes.

Unfortunately General Mills just bought out Annies. Sorry Annies... I think I just bought my last case. 

Read why here:

Annie's Bought By General Mills

Um. Cereal. Yes I know. Interesting that I won't buy Annie's anymore, yet I currently buy cheerios. 

I HAVE A BABY WHO LIKES FOUR FOODS IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD. one of them is the blasted yellow box.

Crackers. I buy healthy crackers, mostly because my son is allergic to MSG. But, somehow the last ingredient, no matter what I buy is always "Spices". Seriously. You make a nonGMO, Gluten free, all natural product, but you can't tell me what's in your last damn ingredient? I give up.

So there is my list. 

One of the things that really BUGS me is the attitude of some people that portray themselves as holier than thou in their health choices. Personal choice people!! Let's cut the judgy.

We are all on our own health journeys, working on what is important to us. Some of us with our food, some exercise, some our household products, attitudes, BALANCE! etc. By no means do I consider myself an expert, just learning and sharing as I go! True, it's hard to look at some things without thinking, ew,  after you know more about them, but I also know that on any given day I may cheat when I eat out, devour a stack of oreos or decide I need some other kind of junk. 

 I would love to hear your ideas about healthy substitutions for some of these things, or what's on YOUR list dirty list to get rid of- food, products, even bad habits (ha, there's another blog series in itself).  In the name of community, let's help each other out!

Top Reasons That You Should Never Try to Fall Asleep When the Littles Are Awake

So, yesterday: 

It is just before 2pm on the way home from Preschool. This is about the time of day that I sometimes begin a slow and ugly decline: The second cup of coffee has worn off, and I'm well aware of the fact that I have been up since five. Little number two has already had both of his naps for the day. That leaves 5 long hours to fill before bedtime is upon us.

So, I start to daydream a little about how I might be able to swing a little nap. I can feel you judging me, but I don't care. I'm tired. I take the long way home. #1's eyes are getting droopy... I'm winning! I begin to plot #2's half hour in the jolly jumper (read: safe and contained) and I *might* be able to close my eyes on the couch for a while...

Nope. #2 is now screeching, and #1 is yelling "MAKE HIM STOOOOP!" End long-cut home, take shortcut. 

Ok, so now we're in the house, and I haven't given up this pipe dream bad idea of a nap. So, I ask my oldest if he's into watching a movie. WIN! He totally is. Little into the jolly jumper, mom on the floor with a blankie,  All is well. 

Except:

#1. The Little doesn't like the jolly jumper when you're not jumping with him. 

#2. You take him out, and JUST as you start to fall asleep, you wake up to your face being slimed. It looks something like this:

#3. If you continue to be too tired to move your body out of the baby path of destruction, you will lose a handful of hair. I might know from experience.

#4. The oldest will spill their glass of water (thank you for being water) into the back of the couch. 

#5. He will then cry hysterically that he spilled the water.

#6. The dog will help to clean up the water, but the baby likes white fluffy dogs. Enter second handful of lost hair for the afternoon. 

Yes, that is really my dog, and that is really her hair. Thankfully that pile wasn't pulled out by the baby!

Despite this chaos, everyone re-focuses on the movie.  Heavy eyelids all around. I shut the blinds. Dimness encourages sleep methinks (can you believe I haven't given up the dream yet??). But...

#7, It turns out that when you dim the lights, the rescue hero station actually senses the light change. It SHOUTS at us. 
"LET'S TURN ON THE ADVENTURE!"

I give up and turn on the adventure. That, and I made more coffee.

Guest Post: Leslie's FunFit Weighs in on Meal Planning

It has come up for myself so often and many others I know: How do you meal plan on a busy schedule? How do you keep yourself on track for a diet? What are some healthy meals you can make?

Leslie is a mother of two, with a BUSY life! She has worked hard to keep her fitness on track while travelling and juggling her family life. 

Here is a link to her page: 

Leslie's FunFit Facebook Page

Leslie posts great workouts once a week (complete with video) as well as recipes and all sorts of awesome motivation. I love all of her healthy suggestions and positive attitude! 

Here is what she has to say:

 I began meal planning fairly recently actually and have found huge success with it. These successes are not only in my diet/weight management but it has really helped me be on top of all my daily activities as a busy, active, working mom.

As with many of you, my days are busy. I am so busy running kids around, dropping off and picking up from school, getting to work, fitting in a workout. Before I started meal planing I would either eat when I could or not eat at all. And often times when I did eat it wasn’t the healthiest choices. Even worse I would eat EVERYTHING when I got home at the end of the night. None of these were great choices and even though my workouts were extremely intense I was noticing no change in my appearance/weight.

Finally my husband and I decided to pay for a nutritionist. (Best decision we have ever made). Although we are fairly knowledgeable on nutrition we were both surprised at how much we still have to learn. Our family eats fairly healthy, we rarely eat out and limit our junk food. Our nutritionist put both of us on a strict (but still had lots of options) meal plan. As soon as we started following our meal plans we both noticed a huge difference. I finally lost the last 20 pounds I had been trying to lose for years. We had fudged our way through creating our own ‘meal’ plans which worked to an extent but I would say that hiring a nutritionist is money well spent.

Before school started this year I went and bought several packages of tupperware containers and set to work determined to eat healthy and maintain my weight. Every Sunday I spend a couple hours cooking my meals for the next 5 days. For breakfast i make breakfast pancakes (oats, egg whites, chia, flax and cinnamon). These freeze nicely and I just pop them in the toaster every morning. Quick and easy! Lunch i have a piece of fruit, a hardboiled egg (which I cook 5 of on Sunday) and a quinoa salad of sorts. (Contains quinoa, avocado and a veggie). For an afternoon snack I have a greek yogurt (which I make sure to buy enough for the week). Dinner I prepare a large salad and will cook up my protein to accompany it. (It could be ground turkey, chicken, beans etc). I weigh all my food out then have allocated one shelf in our fridge as ‘mine’. This meal plan of course was designed specifically for myself and my body, but this is just an idea of my food intake for the day.

Although it takes a little bit of prep work it is well worth it. I now am never worried about having time for food on the go, or what to make for dinner. It is quick, easy and very effective! I would highly recommend chatting with a nutritionist to find a meal plan that will work for you and then get started on meal planning!

~Leslie Rogers- Leslie's FunFit

Finding Motivation : Getting Back on Track.

Summer is particularly bad for maintaining healthy eating. In my house, that is a fact!

True story, I tried very hard to be healthy this last holiday. However, there is also some kind of little voice in my head that says cheating is ok when on vacation. I can't seem to defeat this voice!

This last holiday was particularly bad. I knew I was eating junk when I was up two nights in a row with horrible stomach aches.  Cleaning up your diet will teach you in a nasty way which foods your body doesn't tolerate well any longer!

So, I set out in search of some advice to get back on track after the holidays. I'm feeling pretty tired these days, and unmotivated to do much in the way of change. I wanted to somehow motivate myself. I didn't come up with much that was too inspiring (lists on Google are actually REALLY LAME!), so I thought I would write my own top 4 and see if I can stick to them. I'm only writing 4 because I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL!

This list making part is important to me. If I go forth unorganized, I'm probably going to um, FAIL.

Here's what I have to say about this. I've heard a lot of people lately comment along the lines of no time, no motivation, not sure where to start with making any kind of healthy changes in your life. It BUGS ME when people refuse to change. It only bugs me, because I know it bugs them too. 
True story, the hardest step is the first.

My challenge, from this post stems from this quote. It rattles around in my head a lot: 

So. I think we should choose to be happy, and do things that make us happy. One day at a time!

So far, here are the goals I have.

Step 1: Do not buy junk (no matter what a bargain it is) while grocery shopping! Check. Done. Pretty much a fruit, veggie, meat, dairy shop.

Step 2: Meal plan. This will be tonight's plan. Permission to spend an hour on Pintrest? Granted! My goal with this is to make sure I am getting in two high protein meals every day. One of them is usually my Isagenix shake or bar. It saves me time during the day when I'm too busy to make something elaborate and I know I'm getting healthy organic nutrients. 
I'm really into these Asian noodle salads at the moment. I love salads because they are low cal, high in nutrients and can be made a million different ways!

Step 3: Make some healthy treats and portion individually so I am ready for cravings. I love these things wayy too much!

Recipe:

15 dates
1/2 cup almond butter
1/3 cup finely shredded unsweetened coconut (I get this from the bulk bins at Whole Foods)
2 T. cocoa
1 T. cinnamon
1 t. vanilla

You can also add nuts, other sweeteners instead of dates, oats, etc. They are very flexible!

Step 4: Come up with some ways to be active with my kids this week (doing this tonight also). We ALL feel better when our days are full of fun activities!

So far I have:

- Trip to a new park
- Last blackberry picking adventure
- Attempt to get in some speed work for my running at a local park (circle trail around a playground in the middle). This is probably a pipe dream but I'm going to try!
-Sign K up for swimming lessons (ok this just buys me free time but at least he will be active!)

I am really pondering the concept of not just having good ideas about things, but follow-through. I posted an earlier entry about finding motivation:

Motivation to Exercise: How do you find it?

I stand by the step-by-step piece described. But once you're in the middle of changing things, I think it's important to keep refocusing and reaching for small improvements. Keeps us feeling good!

I also want to point out that I'm not yet ready to say no beer and no wine. I do just fine with this in the winter, but according one of my last posts, I still have a little *work* to do before my beer fridge is ready to be unplugged (who am I kidding, it's not mine, it's my  husband's... and it will NEVER be unplugged!) for the winter.  Plus, it's good, right? Microbrew? No preservatives?

One last point. Something I think I could probably right a whole blog post about. It's about not succeeding with goals. I know it's really important to stick to them and take them seriously, but I am SO done with beating myself up when I screw up. Sad to say it took me until I was in my 30s to figure this out. True story, it actually makes for a more successful journey when you don't throw out the process for one small step in the wrong direction.

Anyway, tomorrow marks the start of a little more consciousness, so I'm enjoying this while I can!

My first official challenge: If you are thinking of making some changes... start with a small one. What do you want to improve?

Deal Time! Easiest Coupon Freebies (or close to) of the week or household items.

DEAL time! I am saving you time by pointing them out some great household deals for you. I know there are a lot of people walking picket lines, and needing to save a few extra coins these days, so here are a few ideas on how to save on items you may be in need of.

To redeem these freebies, you need a couple of things:

-Checkout 51 app on your phone. I have posted about this before. Capture your reciept, collect over 20$ in savings over time, and receive a cheque. Simple!

P&G coupons, either from your last newspaper or printable HERE

Coupon magazine from WalMart (right by the tills; take as many as you like!)

Freebies (or close to) this week:

DAWN Dish Soap- Available on sale at Canadian Tire for 1$ each as of today. You can actually MAKE MONEY on your first two bottles. There is a printable coupon at the link provided above for buy two save $2.00 above, PLUS another $1.00 off two bottles at checkout 51.

Cascade mini sample pack of dishwasher detergent $1 off any size at Checkout 51 (no restrictions, so go get your free package!) I know Superstore has them in Stock, others probably aslso

Tresemme Styling Products: At Superstore and WalMart (or price match and use it elsewhere): $2 off on Checkout 51 and $1.50 off coupon from the WalMart booklet. Works out to about $0.17 each

Other combinables this week:
St. Ives and AXE and Dove Oxygen: Coupon in the WalMart booklet as well as on Checkout 51
Ives totals $6.00 off two items
AXE totals $3.00 off two items
Dove Oxygen Hair: 3.50 off one item

Time to go shopping; expect to pay the tax and not much else!

Looking for where to find something the cheapest? Download the FLIPP app where you can browse all selected products by flyer!

Family Vacations That Don't Kill Us, Make Us Stronger. Link:

Well. We are on the 5th night of our final vacay for the summer, and I for one, am ready to put it in the books.

Vacations, despite their highly anticipated nature, are extremely hard work with young kids! Enter flashbacks of my own family vehicle screeching to a halt at the side of the highway, yelling, tears, leaving restaurants to wait in the car, time outs in random places. Yep, we've duplicated them all this weekend.

My kids are high energy (to be polite about their crazy personalities) to begin with. Then add a little bit of stress, routine change, hotel (I hear you groaning), and the attendance of a wedding, and you have a recipe for one. huge. disaster.

The wedding. Oooh, the wedding! Let me quickly recap. 1001 meltdowns. Someone found a hidden bag of M&M's. White wedding shirt ruined, no time to wash it before the wedding. Make it to the wedding on time (Win!) Commence screeching 3 year old yelling "GET ME OUT OF HERE" (that would be the stroller)while all is dead quiet, bride getting ready to head down the aisle and me praying with all my might that my oldest didn't bolt down the aisle at the exact moment she would emerge. I am SO thankful it didn't happen. In another rockstar moment, I let him pretty much slam juice because I was afraid of yet another tantrum. This is his second glass:

Two parents and two kids attended, but no one actually watched the wedding! Oops. All I can say is thank you NannySitters for saving the day for the reception, because if I had chosen to haul my two angels along, (which included a 3 course meal that took over 3 hours to be served) I would have shot off each of my fingers individually. That would have been more pleasant than trying to keep them from breaking the centerpieces or eating the wicks out of the candles.

I'll say it again.... UGH! 

So, this morning after 5 night wakings between the two littles, and a crappy cup of coffee that took almost half an hour to make, I was ready to throw in the towel. 

In my best mom meltdown moment I yelled "I'VE HAD ENOUGH! WE ARE HEADING TO THE CAR!" Please note this is probably the 8th time I've yelled at my kids this weekend- I am not proud, but i'm admitting it.  I took K to the car and told him in my best mad mom voice and a tear in my eye that he had ruined my vacation weekend. Guess what?? Turns out, he doesn't really care!

I had myself a nice little feel-sorry-for-myself cry, and regrouped. Apparently so did my kid. Thank the lord. 
Thankfully, we had ended our trip with a renewed sense that enjoyment can be had amongst the challenges of travel.

So... in my recently altered state, I'm making a point to be thankful for the things that can get lost under the dark clouds in our minds when things don't go our way:

- Getting to go for my 14km run with my boy, and finishing strong! Thank you Isagenix bar for this... you saved my bacon and provided me with the energy, because frankly, I've been eating too much bacon on this trip.

-Visiting with SO many amazing family members, some of whom I have not seen in over 20 years!
Moments like this warm my heart! This is my uncle, at their orchard giving K food to feed to the chickens:

- Going to the wedding dinner by ourselves as a couple.
- Visiting 3 wineries today and finding some delicious new treats to try when we get home (Sperling, The View and Spierhead Winery in Kelowna all did not disappoint!)

- Having my first Marshall's shopping experience that left me wanting more.
- I am SO thankful to have had the help husband who is balanced and regroups also, and a mom that provided so much support and not one ounce of judgement.
-I am thankful that I took the time to change my thinking and find the gem moments from this weekend.

Please note that I'm writing this post before my vacation is actually over (trip home tomorrow) because the idea of 5 hours in the car, plus a ferry, plus another couple of hours makes me want to barf.
The end.